Thursday, September 14, 2006

I wish I could say things were going well

I have continued to deteriorate. My doctors have told me that I have the progressive, rather than relapsing/remitting form of my disease. It sounds very melodramatic to say it, but this means I have a terminal form. Nothing immediate, but it will shorten my life dramatically. I am trying to stay positive, and have hope that medical science will catch up with me before my disease does. In the mean time, my perspective has really changed. I used to imagine myself being a very old lady, enjoying great grandchildren. My doctors are hoping I make it to my 60's now.

My left hand isn't very coordinated anymore, but I managed a pair of socks, which feels like a huge victory. I will try to attach pics later. I've also started on an easy lace shawl, and have managed one repeat and the placement of a lifeline. Woohoo. Behcet's disease can kiss my ass. lol I had a friend (and fellow knitter) suggest that she would leave a legacy of hand knits for her daughter. I have decided to try to do the same. I would like her to have some things of beauty, made with love, to remember me by. I think I will try to make shawls. They seem timeless. I bought the book folk shawls, and am going to try to make several. They are all so beautiful.

Well, enough of my meloncoly. I will beat this thing. I'm just not sure how yet, but I will. I love life, and want to be here for it.


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